The first yama of Patanjali's Yoga Sutra's is ahimsa, often translated as "non-harming." Aligning myself with Yoga turned something that I had always seen as a weakness into a strength. Yet, somewhere along the way, an unconscious loophole developed. While I was incapable of intentionally doing others wrong, I seemed to have no problem doing considerable inadvertent harm to myself.

I continually assert that yoga practice encompasses more than physical fitness. As much as I generally try to avoid admitting it, this does implicitly question whether the use of yoga poses for physical fitness alone can even be considered yoga practice. I am thinking of a specific example where a principle of exercise science is at odds with a holistic perspective.

I have this tendency to be overly provocative, sometimes to a fault. I have managed to temper this but changing old patterns requires continued attention. The title of this post is a perfect example. I really wanted to call it "F*** Union with the Divine" but I decided to exercise better judgement. I have traced my relapse back to an email I recently received from Yoga Journal Magazine.

My wife and daughter have been away for almost two weeks and I have reverted to the ways of my bachelorhood. This morning, I was forced to do dishes only because there were no more cereal bowls left. Even worse, I only washed one bowl so I could eat and then put it back on the stack when I was done.

Let there be no doubt that life can be severely ironic. Two weeks after I sent out remarks on the sacrifices my wife was making for our family, she got laid off from that soul-sucking job that was providing us health insurance. She worked at the same company for more than six years. They gave her three days notice. Corporate management sure is cruel. The health insurance racket is worse.

Does life ever get easier? Short answer: no. I realize that doesn't sound altogether yogic. Not to mention, it was only last month that I waxed poetic on living through the difficulty of winter as the fertile soil of new possibilities. While those ideas hold true and offer useful perspective, they are of little comfort when the rubber meets the road and the tires are running a bit flat.

"Look for the flower to bloom in the silence that follows the storm; not till then. It shall grow, it will shoot up, it will make branches and leaves and form buds, while the storm continues, while the battle lasts. Then will come a calm such as comes in a tropical country after the heavy rain, when nature works so swiftly that one may see her action. Such a calm will come to the harassed spirit."

Many of you have been privy to the evolution of these posts over the last year. My inspiration has been largely fueled by your responses. That anyone even reads this much less takes a moment to send me a note of appreciation feels like some small triumph of the soul, awash in this sea of zeros and ones we call the internet. In particular, two recent correspondences have got me thinking.

My daughter is the best yoga teacher ever. Observing her as she comes into the wonderment of her own body for the first time is the ultimate example. Since my previous note post about the adage: no steps need to be taken, I happened into some deep philosophical debate on this topic with several prominent yoga teachers of another bent than myself. The sticking point is ...

The non-dual interpretation of Yoga that I espouse is often signified by the adage: no steps need to be taken. I have grappled with this adage. Mostly, I wrote it off as a cliche of sorts like "Carpe Diem." I am intellectually sympathetic to the idea that life is best lived in the present but have found this of little consolation when the strains of life begin to bear down.

A couple weeks back, I ran into someone who attended my class regularly in the past but discontinued coming after moving to a new apartment. She told me how much she missed the practice we were doing, that she still goes to yoga classes but felt compelled to admit to me that there is often injurious things happening. She quickly added, ".....but I really like the challenge."